The BBC drama Marriage, starring Sean Bean and Nicola Walker, has sparked controversy among viewers. Some people are furious at the film’s plodding pace, seeming lack of storyline, and the murmured speech inserted between the deafening silences. Others awe at the veracity of this subdued depiction of a committed partnership and the mundaneness that surrounds it.
Whatever your opinion of the show may be, it beautifully captures the complex nature of a lifetime relationship. Ian, played by Sean Bean, is facing a decision. He lost his job, his mother recently passed away, and you can see him struggling with his identity via the screen. Over the course of decades-long partnerships, change is inevitable and frequently serves as the impetus for separation. Karen Murphy, a psychotherapist with a focus on couples therapy in Cork, claims that when there is change, communication is the key to navigating it successfully.
Karen Murphy Said: “The phrases vulnerability and openness should be used since, despite the fact that change is inevitable, it is challenging. When kids move out of the house, we often experience painful transitions. Children are a fantastic source of diversion, and I frequently observe couples who manage the parenting, watching, and talking about the kids, but when it comes down to just the two of them, they start to question how strong their relationship still is. I frequently witness that, and I believe that’s what the television program Marriage portrays so well—how wide a gap can sometimes be.”
A healthy partnership, according to Dublin-based psychotherapist Niamh Crowley, requires the ability to disagree and have difficult talks.
Niamh Crowley Said: “Our debate is ineffective. That argument, in our opinion, is terrible. It’s just that we’re not doing it correctly.”
Counseling at the beginning of partnerships should become more commonplace, according to both therapists, so that couples may express their goals up front and make plans for their future together.
“Couples can examine all of their possibilities via counseling. Most couples,” according to Murphy, “can realize that their relationship is finished during counseling.” She continues, “though, some couples who appear destined for divorce really discover new ways to stay together after talking to a third party because they gain so much from doing so.”