It is not necessary to please everyone around you in order to become more sociable. Seriously. After a busy week, there’s nothing wrong with relaxing at home and binge-watching your favorite programme. Putting oneself out there can take many forms for different people. Maybe it’s hanging out with some of your closest friends or talking it up with the pizza delivery man.
Check that you’re doing it for the appropriate reasons.
First and foremost, there is no correct way to present oneself. It’s fine if you don’t want to go to the club every other night or accept all of those Facebook event requests. Above all, you have no duty to meet other people’s expectations, which includes how you spend your time. Take note of your gut reaction here. While being close to people has its advantages, it is crucial to do so on our own terms and in a way that feels psychologically healthy to us.
Start up a conversation
So you’ve decided to start opening up a bit more and making new pals. Perhaps you’d want to understand the mysterious art of “small talk” or how to start up a conversation at the next wedding to which you’ve been invited. First, understand that the person next to you is probably feeling the same way you are. According to Bernardo Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast, around 40% of adults and teenagers identify as shy.
Be a careful listener.
Everyone strives to be heard and noticed. Paying close attention to what other people are saying is one of the most important yet underutilized ways to establish a connection with them. By showing attention and making an effort to comprehend the viewpoint of the other person, one can practice active listening. Don’t speak over someone when they answer a question or interrupt them in the middle of their story. Give your whole attention and genuine inquiry instead.
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