Infidelity is a difficult situation to deal with. You’re probably finding it tough to trust your partner again and go forward now that you’ve discovered she’s cheating. To cope, determine whether the relationship is worth saving, discuss frankly with your partner about future expectations, and seek emotional support from friends and professional therapists.
1. Allow each other some breathing space.
You’re probably pretty upset if you just found out your partner is cheating. Allow each other some space in the aftermath of the discovery so you can both think. Your instinct could be to keep your girlfriend close by in case she cheats again. When you see your girlfriend every day, though, it’s difficult to work out your feelings about a relationship. Take use of this time to consider your goals.
2. Have an open and honest discussion.
You should talk to your girlfriend about what happened. Regardless of whether you decide to work things out or not, having an open and honest conversation is essential for closure.
Even though it’s difficult, pay attention while your girlfriend speaks. Show her you’re paying attention with both verbal and nonverbal signs. When there is a pause, maintain eye contact, lean forward, nod, and occasionally make a comment. Questioning with intent. What are the points of contention between you and your girlfriend? What causes dissatisfaction and pain? What were some of the things that made you joyful and made you feel connected? How would you like your conversation with your partner to be different? Respect each other. This will be a difficult conversation for both of you, and you must conduct it civilly and productively.
3. If necessary, be prepared to change.
Depending on why your partner strayed, there may be issues that need to be addressed in your relationship. While this does not imply that adultery was your fault, it does suggest that if you want to save your relationship, you may need to make some changes on your end. You must comprehend why your partner cheated on you. Even if it’s unpleasant to admit, there could have been a problem with the relationship itself. You and your partner need to have some agreed goals for your relationship, which may require you to constantly adjust how you do things.
4. Make a decision regarding the future of the relationship.
Finally, you must decide whether or not you can forgive and go on after the cheating. Cheating is frequently motivated by the reality that necessities and wants are sometimes mutually exclusive. If you and your girlfriend have opposing sexual wants or appetites, the two of you may just not be compatible. It’s probably time to move on if you’re a firm believer in monogamy but your girlfriend prefers an open relationship. Another reason that causes relationships to end is boredom. It’s important to learn new things about your partner in order to have a long-lasting relationship, but if you’ve both stopped developing during your romance, it’s a clue that things aren’t working out. A lack of continuing interest and personal progress are both indicators that a relationship is doomed.
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