One thing that Sigmund Freud was correct about is that unconscious or automatic processes that people are unaware of can have an impact on their behavior. This is especially true when it comes to people’s demand for social connections.
System for Social Monitoring
People were meant to have a select few meaningful, intimate connections. People need relationships, whether it is a regular group chat with friends, family members they can contact, or a pet that looks to be a good listener. A person’s need for connections increases when their relational needs are not satisfied, such as when they are lonely, rejected, or excluded. In other words, they desire social interaction even more.
Unfortunately, seeking partnerships and doing so might be dangerous. Asking a friend out for coffee raises the potential of rejection. Another option is to swipe right on everyone’s Tinder dating profile, which can result in a lack of matches and make one’s desire for a relationship even more irritating.
Therefore, psychologists frequently hold that humans have developed a social monitoring system made up of a number of processes that act on their own to aid in forming connections and preventing rejection. Two elements of the social monitoring system that unknowingly or automatically aid in connection formation are listed below.
1) Enhanced Sensitivity to Social Cues
To successfully form a new relationship, it helps if people are able to successfully interpret each other’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior. If you feel unwelcome at the party but show up anyway, people may ignore you and you miss an opportunity to connect with others. People’s desire for relationships predicted their ability to interpret others’ thoughts and feelings, a study has found. Researchers measured participants’ need for relationships and then had them listen to someone say positive and negative words in either a positive or negative tone before deciphering whether the two were matched or mismatched.
Participants with the greatest need for relationships were the most accurate in deciphering others’ vocal tones and feelings, researchers have found. The more people desire relationships, the better they may be at determining whether a party invitation, for example, is genuine. Given the limits on people’s short-term memory, this might be a tough task.
2) Enhanced Memory for Social Information
Researchers looked at whether lonely individuals remembered socially significant information better. At the start of a college semester, participants filled out a loneliness survey. They then asked the same participants to read another college student’s journal months later. They were instructed to remember as many specifics as they could after reading the fake diary.
Researchers from Cardiff University found that those who felt the most alone had the best memory of the diary’s socially relevant details. The recall of other events, such as purchasing a lottery ticket, was unrelated to feelings of loneliness. People can develop relationships through developing their social awareness and their recall of social knowledge.