Zeenat Aman Insta-suggestion that couples should live-in together before getting married is not quite the golden solution to contemporary relationship problems that it sounds like.
What happens to the girl’s reputation when after living-in the male partner decides they are mutually incompatible? Conservative as it may sound, it’s the girl who will suffer the aftershock of a failed live-in arrangement.
When I touched base with Mumtaz she paused for a few seconds and said, “I don’t agree with Zeenat. Kitna bhi live-in kar lo, kya guarantee hai ? What is the assurance that even after living-in for months and years, your marriage will be successful? Main toh kehti hoon, marriage hi nahin honi chahiye. What is the need to tie yourself down in this day and age? Why marry? For children? Arrey, go out there , find the man who appeals to you and get his baby without physical intimacy. Zamana bahot aage chala gaya hai. Let your children be self-sufficient. Bring up your daughters to believe they don’t need a man to be complete.I have been married for more than forty years. Shaadi nibhani padti hai. It is not easy.”
Celina agrees Mumtaz. “While living together or cohabitating is a wise decision practically and financially it can certainly help assess compatibility and identify potential areas of conflict before committing to marriage. Living together is a great option for LGBT couples who have no marriage union rights in India but for cisgender people while I have nothing against couples choosing to do that I am of another viewpoint.
Celina feels the live-in arrangement could be problematic female partner. “In my humble opinion ,hoping not to cause hurt to anyone’s sentiments of close observations of many dear friends live in relationships, cohabitating couples always have an easy way out, this is the most common reason why people living together do get separated over time. They will no longer work hard to save their relationship because they are not bonded by marriage.
Many people ( mostly men) misuse your emotions to live together on false commitments. Before you start a relationship, you need to know the meaning of real commitment, and part of this is getting married. One disadvantage of living together before marriage is that when you’re not married, you don’t have some of the rights a married person has, especially when dealing with certain laws. If children are involved it is even more complicated.”
