Motherhood always encapsulates a defined change in life, which is the best in its own terms in different ways to each individual. But when it comes to a top-notch Bollywood star, like Anushka Sharma, things might pretty go high over the clouds, with that constant showbiz pressure you have on your head. Saying that we have recently managed to our hands-on Anushka’s recent interview with Grazia, where she speaks of her new role and her side of the story of becoming a parent.
She said, “I used to be somebody who loved to plan and prepare everything in life, but when you’re thrown curveballs, you just have to take things as they come. You can’t plan too far ahead with a baby. I’ve also learnt that taking care of my mind is now a 24/7 job – I’m constantly mindful of my thoughts, not engaging in those that don’t serve me. I’m simplifying myself; I want to be present” when asked by an interviewer from Grazia, that how she is keeping up with raising an infant at home, for it comes with a lot of struggles, tantrums and tiring sleepless nights.
When the interviewer asked, “Quarantine, Netflix binge sessions, and a flurry of Zoom calls is what the pandemic looked like for most of us. But what is it like to spend your pregnancy in a period defined by social distancing?“ She said, “I really wanted a baby shower. I was even willing to throw one for myself,” she also added, “But to get everyone to quarantine in order to attend was hectic and I didn’t want to put my friends through that. So I ended up having a small ceremony at home, with my immediate family in attendance. One of the things this experience has taught me is to always look at the positives. It allowed Virat and I to spend a lot of time together because he wasn’t playing any matches at the time. Had he been travelling, I wouldn’t have been able to accompany him in my condition. My first trimester was awful, so it was nice to have him by my side, to handhold and be my cheerleader.”
Talking of her motherhood, she said, “It’s true when people say that nothing prepares you for parenthood. You just have to nosedive into it. I remember being afraid initially and wondering if I wouldn’t like being a mother, but I feel like I’ve grown a lot as a person since I’ve had my baby. When you’re completely responsible for an individual who’s dependent on you, you don’t have time to dwell on less important things. When Virat and I look back on the moments or situations that worried us, they feel so trivial in comparison. Today, I find myself stronger, braver, and more sure of myself, way more than I’ve ever been. I’m making better decisions because a lot of the riff-raff has been cleared out.”
She added, “My biggest understanding of life in the past few years, even before I became a mother, has been that you cannot get attached to any identity of yours because it’s all very fickle. I am an actor and a mother, both of which have taken up significant amounts of time in my life. But neither role defines me completely. As somebody working in the industry, I thought I was quite far removed from it. I didn’t belong to an inner circle and my routine always consisted of going to work, coming back and spending time with myself. But, it dawned on me that I was defining my self-worth based on who I am, based on the celebrity that I am, the star that I am, the success I have garnered and the talent that I possess. That started to seem abnormal to me. I figured that if I’m going to keep allowing something so transient to define who I am, at some point I’m going to get stuck and find it hard to cope,”
Speaking on how the pandemic taught her to slow down, she said, “I wanted to take some time off and understand what it was I wanted to do work-wise and what kind of movies I wanted to be a part of. The conversation surrounding mental health and the importance of taking a break has now gained prominence, given the trying times we’ve had. We need to acknowledge that having a packed schedule doesn’t make you a better worker. As a creative individual, you have to allow yourself that breathing room, that space to grow, invent, and re-invent.”
Talking of the changes in her body and skin, she said, “Only a week ago, I was telling a friend how afraid I was because of this pressure that’s thrust upon women to look a certain way, even before they become mothers before they get pregnant, and definitely after they’ve had a baby. Despite being somebody who is fairly self-aware, I was worried. I kept thinking – am I going to hate my body?” “My body’s not as it used to be; it’s not as toned as it was. And I’m working towards it because I like to be fit. Having said that, I am so much more comfortable in my skin today than I was before, even when I had that ‘perfect body’. I’ve realised that it’s a state of mind, it has nothing to do with how you look. I remember showing Virat some old photos of mine, and talking about how nice I looked back then and he said, ‘You know, this is what you do. You look at these pictures in hindsight and say you were looking so nice. But when I tell you in the moment that it’s a great picture, you say aah it’s okay’,” she adds, “I don’t do that anymore. I click a picture and I post it without obsessively scrutinising how I look. You have to be accepting of the body that’s done something so profound and miraculous for you. I’d never want my daughter to grow up with that sense of lacking that we’re always made to feel as women. Ultimately, it’s all about perspective. The girl who has the ‘perfect’ body can still not feel great while the girl who doesn’t have a body that aligns with societal beauty standards can still be immensely confident.”
Anushka Sharma speaks of her daughter’s growing personality, “I find her extremely determined. I feel that if she wants to do something then she’s going to do it, and I can tell that it’s going to serve some purpose for her in life. It’s nice to see that because I think I was like that too. My role is to guide and support her, to be her sounding board without micromanaging or being too controlling. I think an important thing to imbibe in your child is to be loving and compassionate towards everybody.” she added, “As parents, a lot of the learning needs to be done by us – at least, that’s what my husband and I feel. Kids teach you a lot if you’re attentive. For me, it’s important to accept my daughter as she is and for her to grow up confident in knowing that. If you give your child the required space, hopefully, they’ll flourish and carve a niche for themselves.”