The (un)interview of Kapil Sharma

The conversation that never really happened...

There are stars, there are galaxies, there are milkyways and then there is THE Kapil Sharma…the man who took a dip in the Ganga of humour, got blessed with ‘hasnatra’ vardhan, thus tickling funny bones all the time.

Alakh niranjan!!!

The comic Captain America is a rather intriguing and reclusive figure, brooding and ruminating while looking down on ant like crawling mere mortals like us from his ivory tower of success and fame (and the moolah of course).

Oh you keeda makodas..,” must be his sentiments while munching on piping hot pakodas. Famous he is but not so keen on giving media interviews, unless your name is Karan and you like to sip coffee.

cutting chai anyone”

However, IndianWikiMedia’s star reporter Bobby Bose had a sudden encounter with this Herculean stature star at a rather unlikely of places…in a loo of a five star hotel. This is his story…

Bobby Bose enters the palatial five star loo which has more mirrors and lights than a Mira Road mall.

He gets about his business, that is to take a leak (no, he doesn’t work in Prime Focus and is not a fan of Game of Thrones).  

**hears the guy next to him (also attending nature’s call) whistling a famous Akshay Kumar song**

Bobby (looking down and focussing on his art): Nice tune man… you got some skills…

 **ignore ignore** the whistling continues…

Bobby (in his slog overs): Hey… I just gave a compliment…

 **ignore ignore** the whistling stops…

Bobby: Hey bondhu (friend in Bengali)…looks and voila…

Udi baba…Mr Kapil Sharma…I have been trying to connect with you…

(cuts in)

Kapil: What nonsense this is? No mind of manners… No peace to pee also… hopeless burger…

Bobby: You mean bugger…

Kapil: Don’t oversmart me…I am Kapil Sharma…no 1 comedian in India…no wait…no 1 comedian in world…

Bobby: No doubt sir…you are …you are called SRK of TV…

Kapil (visually irritated): Ek dunga lagake (gesturing to hit) …you disreputing me…SRK is called Kapil Sharma of Bollywood… I am Kapil Sharma…no 1 comedian in India…no wait…no 1 comedian in world…

Bobby: Yes yes…sorry…so Kapil sir why don’t you talk to the media?

Kapil: Baju hat…(move aside)…apna dholu pehle (let me wash my hands)… terrible person…you peacock without feather…

Bobby: Sure sir sure…but sir my question is…

Kapil (while washing hands and admiring his handsome crop of hair): “Media need Kapil, I no need media… I am Kapil Sharma…no 1 comedian in India…no wait…no 1 comedian in world…

Bobby: So true sir…sir since we are here can I call my cameraman Sunil…

**slap slap slap**

Bobby (sobbing): Marle keno (why did you slap in Bengali)?

Kapil: Oh sorry…natural impulse…so Sunil clicking photos these days?

Bobby (adjusting his specs): He is Sunil Bhatt not Grover…

Kapil: Oh yes yes…okay call… you are a nice boy…what’s your name and you from?

Bobby: Sir I am Bobby Bose from IndianWikiMedia…

Kapil: Indian what???Wikipedia suna tha WikiMedia kya hai?

Bobby: Sir we are new but doing good work…we are also Google news verified…

Kapil: Haan I too like Google…good videos and articles…let me tweet about it…

Bobby: Are you tagging Narendra Modi?

Kapil: Only after Patiala pegs…(laughs)

Bobby: Sir baki…life is well?

Kapil: All Preeti…oops I mean Pretty…cameraman kidhar hai (where is your cameraman?).

Bobby: Sir…not responding to my messages…

Kapil: All Sunils are *&^%**…selfie lelo aur get lost…

Bobby: Sure sir…I love your shows…you are the best…please subscribe to IndianWikiMedia…

Kapil: (laughs) Idiot burger… get lost demanding prick… I am Kapil Sharma…no 1 comedian in India…no wait…no 1 comedian in world…

(The events depicted in this article are fictitious and intended for humour, not to hurt anyone’s sentiments)